I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
