i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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