I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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