i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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