SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
