Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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