i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
