My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
