Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
