We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
