Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
