you traded sex for a burrito?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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