Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
