This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
