Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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