So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
