the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
