Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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