I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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