No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Less talking, more tequila
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
