Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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