After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
