please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
