im about as happy as oj after his trial
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
