Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize