SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
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