Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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