Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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