I think im going to throw up on grandma
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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