I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
