i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
