I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
