well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
