Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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