thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
