I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
