Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i think my cat just said my name.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
