There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
