oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
