i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
