I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
