yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
