Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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