I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
