My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
