I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
