wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
