You can't special order awesome
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
