News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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