Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Randomize
