you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
