you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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