You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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