now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
