The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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